Turning Our Shit Into Fertilizer-Composting Life.
“Energy cannot be created or destroyed, it can only be changed from one form to another.” Albert Einstein.
Recycling organic waste for our garden is something our family has done for years. Plant and food waste decompose into a nutrient rich soil that also contains “good” fungus and bacteria. Desirable ingredients can be greens- mowed grass, leaves, vegetable table scraps and browns-shredded paper, woody material. Water, time and heat work together to transform decaying matter into something that supports growth and creation of new life. Edible new life!
So often in my struggles, in my non-linear path of healing and integrating trauma and the challenges of life, I want to banish uncomfortableness, distress, grief, rage, resentment, etc. Distracting myself from these feelings through incessantly reading, non-stop working, and exercising works until it doesn’t anymore.
Thankfully, these distractions are short lived (although they still show up!) due to decades of contemplative practice that have greatly expanded my capacity to be with challenging emotions. The school of Yoga, Kripalu, (the yoga of consciousness) that I trained in 14 years ago offers a practice called “Riding the Wave” of strong sensation and emotion. Recognizing there is a peak and a valley and that I can breathe/observe/feel/allow/let go is a powerful antidote to overwhelm and despair.
Composting Life
Having a framework and consistent practice helps those challenging emotions inform me rather than take over and drive the bus. In the Tantric Yoga understanding of emotions the other side of rage is passion, the other side of fear is courage, the other side of grief is love/compassion and the other side of despair are the tendrils of hope emerging from the dung heap of that despair.
Meditation/Journaling/Singing/Chanting/Writing-Words-Music-Medicine Bundles are the practices for me like water, heat and time in my yard compost, that aid and support transformation and surrender to uncover the current of joy that is the essence of my being and it is part of Prana, the kinetic force that drives the ongoing creation of the universe.
This force, that compels seeds to germinate, planets to move in gravitational orbit, and decay to feed and foster new life also moves through us as a species with each other and the more than human life.
How we remain present to this life force that moves in cycles of birth/life/death/rebirth as well as rest, restoration, revitalization and renewal can impact our living in flow AND being in right relationship with each other and the planet.
AND, while Yoga is a practice of liberation, it is not about the hyper focus on the individual, it is about serving the collective.
Collective Liberation
The rage, grief, fear and despair I experience in the witnessing of the genocide in Gaza, the eradication in the USA of hard fought civil rights of BIPOC, LBGTQI, Women, Disabled People, the current administration seeing the planet as a dead rock valuable only in regards to real estate and extraction, and the disappearing of undocumented people can swallow me whole. Expanding my capacity for transformation isn’t about feeling great all the time, but is channeling passion, love, courage and hope towards the liberation of all beings
AND how can we do this together? My husband and I dealing with the health challenges of our (now adult) daughter throughout the years have shown up at different times with varying capacities. Instead of judging, we meet each other with listening and support. This builds our collective capacity. If we judged or held up a yardstick to each other’s capacities, we would not be serving what is the point, our daughter.
In these tumultuous times, I believe it is in our coming together in all our various capacities that will bring about the transformation necessary for all beings to have access to essential resources to thrive, freely and safely navigate and live in peace.
No matter what-even if this doesn’t happen in our lifetime, even if the moral arc of the universe that bends towards justice feels distant, let’s show up together on behalf of the planet, her people and our more than human species.
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